A swollen brain

Last week I was staying at Tom T’s my realtor while my floors were being refinished. In the middle of the night I got up to use the bathroom. Coming back to bed I fell. Twice. The second time was loud enough to wake up Tom. I also hurt my hip. I couldn’t walk unaided so went to Kaiser Downey. I was several days in the hospital. In that time period, Pat came over to tend to me. What a gift! The floors are finished and look wonderful. Oddly enough, my speech is a lot clearer.

My appetite has been poor up until today; chronic fatigue knocks me for a loop; I have a persistent cough that alarms Pat with its ferocity. Dr. Nguyen talked about a swollen brain. I’d never heard mention of such a thing.I suppose it’s possible. Anyway, my AA buddies are throwing me a party tonight. Last night at the meeting they waxed prosaic in praise for me. If I had been able to have feelings, I would have been touched. As it is, I listened quietly and gratefully.

As I struggle to get up from my mattress, I think of Mom. I want her appreciation of my getting up. I want her comfort. I want her looking at me with a look of love and sympathy. I want my Mom back! Over her loss now I feel grief and sadness. At her funeral I was numb; today I feel loss.


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