Now what?

So, Ash and I’ve been texting just about every day. He did text me at 1:45 am which woke me up. I told him so and he apologized and we texted later in the day. He’son an iphone and he says he can Facetime although I says “not now.” He’s going to Sfax in Tunisia to see relatives this week so we might have a breather in our conversations.

Or not.

I like the geared-down rhythm of the pace of the relationship. More real stuff exchanged rather than just “I miss you… I love you.” I’m beginning to realize that he’s not always savvy when it comes to the proper use of tense or spellings in his use of English. Still, for someone who’s self-taught, he’s pretty impressive. He may be more fluent texting than he is speaking.

As for Rahim, well, who knows. I only hear from him once a week. I sense that whatever ardor he may have felt for me may have cooled since my last email to him telling him that the trip to Turkey was off.  We’ll see. The only way this relationship can go another route is if he shows up on my doorstep offering to be my caregiver.

On a totally different topic: in conversation with brother Joe the other night, I mentioned that I was going to say Mass for Dignity on Saturday. He was surprised. He thought I had left the priesthood in 1995. No, I said, I left the active ministry. I’m still a priest. Always will be. It occurred to me that perhaps I never clarified that with the family when I made that decision in 1995. I wonder if a family wide email would be in order here.

At any rate, I presided at Eucharist last night for Dignity. First time in 23 years. It felt familiar, comfortable, right. I almost choked up in the homily when I spoke of being given the assurance of “do not be afraid” by my co-worker at Bourgade High school (whose name I can’t recall) who took me aside and told me her story and encouraged me to seek council from someone in Tucson who helped her in her coming out as a lesbian. I felt good about the homily — it was focused and pertinent to our community. In an ironic twist, I asked Sean (i.e. Kelly Noble) to be my altar server. About 30 years ago, Kelly (as he was known then) and I had a brief passionate affair. I see him now and I think “I was attracted to HIM?” He must think the same thing. He’s partnered to a priest who is active in Dignity. I wonder if he knows about Kelly and I?

Joe L. expressed concern that I was going to be out the money I had spent on reservations for the trip to Turkey. I shrugged it off. The rent I’m getting from Joe is helping offset the money I’ve spent on reservations. But I do need to start saving money to address expenses down the road in house repairs. Fence work on the west side, paint (inside and out), remodel of the family room, new windows, these are all jobs that are lurking in the future that will need to be done. Dan T isn’t getting younger or (financially) any more able to do these tasks than he has before. I’ll have to spend some serious baht to get the jobs done right. Even little repair jobs will become irksome for me as well as age and parkinsons takes its toll. Even here, from where I sit, I see the underside of an eave that needs painting. Why it wasn’t painted in the great family paint-off of November 2016 is beyond me.

For the moment, though, all is well.

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