If it’s too good to be true….


In a 45 minute text session this morning, Nathan tells me that he’s here only on a student visa. He has to go back to Turkey “in a few days.” He sort of left all that information out of his profile on seeksolder.com.

I mean, one had the sense (or should I say I had the sense) from reading his profile that he was here for the long haul. I mean looking for a soul mate usually implies a being physically present in a committed relationship. Being in Turkey, and me being here, is not a set up for a committed soul mate relationship. I’ve already tried that in Indonesia. I have ongoing attempts happening in Algeria and UAE. Before this, I had Mehdi in Iran, Tarek in Algeria…. can I go on?

We did text in a lively, relaxed manner. I asked about his HIV status and he said he’s negative. When I asked why he said “I’ll tell you later” to the question of HIV status in seeksolder.com profile he said that answered it that way to show he’s open to people who are positive.


He’s not real eager to back to Turkey. Save for his mother, he fears the anti-gay rhetoric and stance that goes on there. He’s tasted the freedom of being gay here and likes it. Obviously. Although he laments people only wanting sex when they read his profile (hello, you have a gorgeous cock on display in your profile picture) he claims that he wants a monogamous relationship. Is he frantically fishing for a marriage license?

He’s also an Israeli citizen. He left there when he was 9 years old after his father died. He mentioned that he has family in Israel but I got the sense he doesn’t keep in touch. I wonder if he’d be obliged to do military service if he went there?

So, the co-dependent in me says “Why not. Let’s get married and see what develops. I’d save him from the homophobic life in Turkey, I’d get a nurse/caregiver in the bargain and (who knows) some occasional fun sex.”

I can hear everyone else (Scott, Doug, Tom, my family members) with looks of aghast on their faces saying “Are you out of your mind?”

As the young man’s t-shirt said “I’m out of my mind. Please leave a message.




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