If I were Nathan

Nathan has been sending me fervent emails these past two weeks. I’m grateful that I’ve blocked my phone against his texts and phone calls. God knows how often he’d be beseeching me at all hours on that.

In his emails, he believes that, like Rahim of old, that he and I are meant to be together. He claims that his mother is ready to sell her jewelry. He comes across as a mildly hysteric but very controlled person determined that we should be together forever.

The problem is, in my head, I can’t figure out why he is clear-headed in his desire to be together with his sporadic responses in contacting me. I mean, if I were him…

As soon as I arrived in Istanbul, I would have texted or emailed Dan to let him know I’d arrived and how I was going to be looking for work. I’d ask how Dan was doing and if there were ways we could stay in touch.

As days went by, and it became clear that work was going to be impossible to find (and gay oppression was continuing to be unrelenting) I’d continue to be in touch with Dan to let him know the progress of things that were going on and to hint at perhaps coming back to the US to find work.

I’d do what I could, via mom or friends, to link up with Dan via Skype or some other visual format (Facetime?) so that we could see and communicate on a regular basis.

If Dan sent money, I’d be quick to thank him for his support.

None of this happened. On a whim I contacted him a few weeks after he left California. He’s declined my requests to connect on Skype. He didn’t thank me for the money I sent. Instead, he asked for more.

Is he really in Istanbul? I sent the money to him there so I think that’s valid. Is he really a nurse? Perhaps. Some of the pictures I have of him showed him in a hospital setting. Or rather I HAD of him. Per Dan W., I’ve deleted all his pictures, texts and emails.

What was with the text message that included the porn picture of the naked big breasted black female? He thought it was funny. On his seeksolder.com account, he shows his cock in his x-rated photo.

It is to be noted that he did change his city in seeksolder.com to Istanbul.  I wonder how many other fishing holes he’s working?

I told him in today’s email that I will know more after my visit with Ash in Tunisia in November if I’m even available for a relationship. Even Ash is unsure what will happen with “us” after we meet. I mean, after the kissing and hugging gets out of the way, what will be left?

I said that October is busy for me so getting together with Nathan next month is out of the question. I also pointed out that if I do decide to pursue a relationship with him, it will have to be with visual components. Mehdi’s advice is solid in this regard that there has to be some visual or physical communication that precedes any sort of financial commitment. I even laid it on the line regarding the need to “trust but verify” which Ronald Regan and dad were both fond of quoting. I mentioned that too many horror stories are out there of older men being scammed by younger guys.  I’ll see what happens with that remark.

“Past me” would have been fascinated by the “current me” having to fight off the attention of two men. All I can say to “past me” at this point is “it ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.”







Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: